Well hello again! Sorry for the brief hiatus, you know how it is, Thanksgiving, family, blah, blah, blah. Actually, I really have been hard at work looking for new and awesome things to share with y’all, I just keep coming up short. If my computer were a desk it would be strewn with crumpled up virtual pieces of paper. I even did something I’ve been avoiding for years and finally watched the original 1992 movie version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer – inspired by the troubling recent announcement of the new, Whedon-less remake in production – but I couldn’t in good conscience put it on the list. It’s real cute, don’t get me wrong, especially if you’re into super-campy 80’s movies, and probably even more so if you aren’t a superfan of the series, but totally awesome it is not. SMG could kick Kristy Swanson’s ass any day of the week. I’m just saying.
In honor of Hanukkah (which, if I know my demographics as well as I think I do, the vast majority of you know starts tonight) I present to you:
Things that are Totally Awesome: The TOTALLY AWESOME HANUKKAH PRESENT EDITION!! WEE!!
Tonight we’re talking about the gift that every little girl dreams of… yes, I’m talking about those three little words:
A keytar. Duh.
If you don’t already know (and didn’t watch the totally awesome Garfunkel and Oates video for Running with Chicken – see entry #2) the keytar is a magical instrument which combines the sound of an electric keyboard with the portability and general awesome-lookingness of a guitar.
How, you ask, did such a totally awesome thing come to be? Well, back in the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth – also known as the 1970s – some keyboardists discovered that by simply strapping their keyboards over their shoulders like guitars, they could automatically increase their coolness factor. One of the most notable of these noble pioneers is Sir Edgar Winter; who in addition to being a strap-on keyboard genius is also a natural albino (fo realsies) and writer of the timeless classic, Frankenstein:
Eventually, instrument manufacturers caught on and created the keytar, which quickly became a staple in the delicious 80’s pop music we all pretend to hate but actually love a lot, ie:
Unfortunately, when the dust settled and the crazy acid trip that was the 80’s came to an end, the keytar seemingly went the way of stirrup pants and shoulder pads. HOWEVER, as the great Albus Dumbledore said in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: “you will find that the keytar will only truly have left the music scene when none here are loyal to it.” and with the recent revival of synthpop has come a new hope for the noble keytar. Just last year the grand dutchess of totally awesome herself – Lady Gaga, obvs – performed a monster keytar solo during an SNL performance of Paparazzi. (I wanted to embed it but all of the videos of it on the internet are crap, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.)
Still unconvinced of how totally awesome the keytar is? I submit the following:
1)Snoop Dogg’s video for Sensual Seduction (aka the censored version of Sexual Eruption, off his 2007 album Ego Trippin’)
Was that song nominated for a Grammy you ask? Yes, yes it was.
2) This picture of a dog playing a miniature keytar:
3) Brett Domino (for more totally awesome videos, including more keytar covers and some great original material – I particularly recommend the song: What Would You Do (If A Shark Started Eating You) – cick here)
4) Belinda Bedeković. Oh my god, Belinda Bedeković.
5) Lights. No okay, seriously now, the keytar is a pretty silly instrument, but this chick is actually legitimately bad-ass. Her acoustic stuff is cool too, but I mean, girlfriend looks pretty awesome holding a keytar, no?
So in conclusion, if you were wondering what to get me for Hanukkah this year… But really though, what’s more totally awesome than the keytar? That’s what I thought. Oh, and don’t forget: